Flower Girl and Ring Bearer 101

As a bride, there are so many decisions to make – but a favorite (and hopefully easy) is choosing your flower girl and ring bearer! Having a flower girl and ring bearer on your special day is a great way to incorporate children as well as amp up the cuteness factor! Choosing little ones to accompany you on your wedding day also isn’t as straightforward as it used to be. With etiquette thrown wayside more and more often, it can be a challenge to stay up to speed. Consider some of our tips below to help you pick which youngsters will be right for the job!

Photo // Kati Hewitt Photography

How to Pick your Flower Girl and Ring Bearer

As a bride, you may have found yourself getting pretty familiar with etiquette expert Anna Post along the way. According to this etiquette guru, traditionally flower girls and ring bearers should be between the ages of three and eight years old. Younger children are more likely to get nervous, so picking a youngster who is a little older should be considered. Now one may ask, who should I pick? We suggest starting with your own children if you have any. If not, ask your siblings’ children or the children of your maid of honor/best man. Really any young ones you feel close to are perfect for the job. Also, don’t be afraid to have more than one or break gender rules. Girls can be ring bearers too!

What Should The Flower Girl and Ring Bearer Wear

Get ready for cuteness overload! Deciding what your ring bearer or flower girl is going to wear on your big day is the most fun part. A flower girl should wear a dress that mimics the style of the bride’s gown, such as in lace detailing, a flowy skirt or delicate beading. If you want something a little more fun, try opting for a color that matches the bridesmaids’ dresses or a textured fabric. For the ring bearer, traditionally they wear a kid-sized tuxedo or suit. Just make sure it coordinates with the groom or groomsmen’s attire. If a tux isn’t for you, have fun dressing him up in suspenders, a classic bowtie, a hat or patterned jacket. In the midst of all the fun, keep in mind that the child’s parents most likely will pay for the outfit, so be sure to give them options at all price points!

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What Parts of the Wedding Process Should the Children Attend

We know incorporating youngsters into your wedding day can be stressful and some brides choose to have adult-only weddings for this reason. If you choose to have a flower girl and ring bearer attend your special day, they need to be included in the process leading up to the day, too. Obviously, they are needed at the ceremony since they are the one’s delivering the rings, but it’s also important to invite them to the rehearsal to practice so they feel comfortable as well. Traditionally, if the little ones are invited to the rehearsal, they should be included in the rehearsal dinner. Also, if they are a part of the wedding, it’s a nice gesture to let them stick around for the reception. When it comes to the flower girl, it is a common courtesy to invite her to the bridal shower as well as the “get ready” party with the rest of the wedding party. The most important thing to keep in mind is to make sure they feel special and included in all the wedding festivities. 

When Should the Ring Bearer be Entrusted with the Rings

Oh, the frightening idea of handing off the bride and groom’s rings to a rambunctious child right on the big day. We understand this can be stressful, especially if utilizing a younger child as the ring bearer. Our advice may sound a little silly, but it’s actually more common than you think. Fake rings! You heard us right! Handing the ring bearer faux jewelry is the perfect way to ensure no wedding catastrophes ensue due to a lost or misplaced diamond band. But if you are feeling trusting or you have chosen a ring bearer of teenage years, have the best man hand him the rings right before he walks down the aisle. This creates less time for losing things, and it’s a win win all around!

Ring Pillows and Alternative Options

We know you have probably seen in every romantic movie involving a wedding, there is an adorable ring bearer carrying the rings down the aisle on a satiny poof. This poof is called a ring pillow and this tradition has been in place for years and years. Honestly too many to count! Although this delicate pillow is the traditional choice, we know it isn’t for all brides. If a pillow isn’t for you, you are in luck because there are so many alternative options out there! Glass ring boxes are the perfect choice for a modern bride. Or an engraved wood slice for the bride rocking a rustic vibe. Try some greenery or place them inside a book if you are a literary love. The options are endless!

Pets as Ring Bearers

We know everyone is familiar with the phrase “man’s best friend,” so we wanted to share our thoughts on incorporating your best friend, aka your dog, into your wedding day. If you’re a bride and don’t have any close children to fill the ring bearer role, give your dog a chance! If you decide to entrust your dog to walk the rings down the aisle make sure beforehand your pet is comfortable in large crowds. Bring them to the rehearsal to practice, because pets need practice too! And just like young ring bearers, tie fake rings to your pet’s collar. This helps avoid any jewelry going missing. Also, don’t forget to make arrangements for your pet after the ceremony. Pets do not belong at the reception, so have a close friend bring them home so you can enjoy the party as the new Mr. and Mrs. Finally, have fun getting creative and dressing your pet up (think a doggy tux, floral collar, or a cute bow tie). Just make sure they too feel comfortable while still looking their best!

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